You Are NOT Alone!

I didn't have any knowledge of baby blues or postpartum depression before or after my son was born. So, from my experience I felt I was hit by a sunami and my world as I knew it was violently torn away. Strong words, yes, but it totally describes how I felt.

My biggest fear was that I was going crazy. I had no clue about what was happening in my body and mind. If you knew me, you would be shocked as I am a researcher and knowledge seeker. But, for some reason, I wasn't interested in any knowledge gathering during my pregnancy. My mind went on hiatus.

And so, I felt I was alone. My body was a wreck, my mind twisted in terror. I couldn't stop crying, my heart was racing in panic, I was exhausted and everything that was simple turned to the biggest chore possible. My limbs were heavy, I just wanted to lay down and sleep forever.

This is how I felt the first two weeks after my son' s birth, and then at the four week mark when I had reached complete exhaustion from sleep deprivation it all started again.

As I said in my story, my Mother was my saviour with the first piece of information that gave me relief: Brooke Shield's book excerpt. (Link can be found on the side bar). Her story was almost parallel to mine. When I say relief, it's equivalent to drowning and someone pulling you up and you breathe that first breath of air once more. Ahhhhh.

Shortly after I posted this blog, I received an email from the author of the article "Bundle of Joy" from the local Caledon magazine "IN THE HILLS". ( I had added a link to her story from the online magazine.) I was surprised but very happy to hear from her. She gave me encouragement and offered suggestions for more resources I could add to my blog as well as programs I might be interested in: FAB-Feelings after Birth and Adjustments after Birth which can be found in Orangeville and Bolton.
(I will be adding them to the list on the sidebar).

I have been attending a postpartum support group in the OEYC in Bolton since my son was one month old. (He is five months old today) It was like jumping into a cold pool of water after being lost in the desert, dry and parched and desperate. It was so wonderful to meet other Moms going through the same thing. I found comfort there, as well as courage to continue on.

The staff is wonderful there. They are all warm, friendly and attentive to all who enter. I am so grateful that I was introduced to the centre. I can go there anytime when I am feeling overwhelmed and need to be around people who are supportive. I also attend other programs, one of them being "You and Your Baby" for first-time Moms. It is great to meet other first-time Mothers and share information as well as learn things I don't have time to read about. LOL!

We are out there, and you are NOT alone. Seek out a support group, call a number and get the support you need and deserve. There is no need to suffer in silence in fear of a "crazy" stigma. You don't have to tell the world. (And, you are not crazy!)

Ontario Early Years Centre in Bolton -Caledon Parent/Child Centre:  905-857-0900