Hello and Welcome to my blog. I am glad that you are here.

I am a mom who has experienced Postpartum Depression/Postpartum Mood Disorder (PMD). I am now a Postpartum Depression Awareness & Support Activist.

I entitled my blog "It Takes A Village" in reference to the African proverb that is so commonly known. I feel very strongly that we as a society have set very high standards and expectations of new mothers to take care of their children on their own, without support or help after the first week or so.

I think we have it backwards: New Mom's need respite and support whether they are well or not. We need support and encouragement, and someone to relieve us so that we can get some sleep and time to rejuvienate.

My aim with this blog is to bring awareness to the world, and support to other Moms (and possibly Dads) that are going through this experience. I am passionate about reducing stigma as it creates the barrier that keeps women silent and suffering. I want Moms to feel safe enough to share their story and get the support and help they need to get better.

I encourage you, if you believe you may be experiencing more than the "baby blues" to seek out help. You will not be judged or criticized. The goal of all list here on this blog are to support you and help you heal so that you may live the life you dreamed of with your child.

This blog is a work in progress, please check in often to see more updates and new information!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

My Friend Anger

At the start of my postpartum journey, anger was a bitter enemy. It consumed me, twisted me and taunted me and I had no exit from it.

I had never learned the healthy ways to release anger and it sat in me making my mind hurt as it spun in angry spirals down my body.

I was angry at so many things: my loss of freedom, my loss of independence (the c-section emphasized this), my son (this was irrational anger because I was very happy to have him but the happiness was pushed down to a dark corner in my heart), and my husband--oh boy-- how his life didn't change, how he was so happy and in love with our son, how he was so easy going to name a few. Grrr...

My anger scared me. I didn't know how to deal with it. Suppression was the only technique I knew and now the lid was broken on my anger jar and nothing would stay down any longer. It came out mostly in tears, which left me depleted and desperate.

I analyzed why I was angry at my son, realizing I wasn't really angry at him, but I had superimposed him as the target of all of the responsibility I had on my shoulders now. Once I realized that, I said to myself that I would look at my son as my new job, and I would do it to the best of my ability. This change in perception helped my anger decrease considerably. 

I went on analyzing all of my "irrational" thoughts and worked through more of them on a mind level, but soon realized that the anger was not quelled that easily. It was a challenge for me not to think and fester about my frustrations which led to my body to respond in anger. Once I felt the anger, I needed an outlet.  

What works for me now is exercise. It is an excellent outlet for the physical release of anger, and I also journal when I can. (I used to journal everyday and since I haven't found the time so far, I found another resentment I need to clear up.) Journaling was a great stress reliever for me because I think alot and need to get it down on paper. (Oh, I did find a solution to journaling; I have a giant magnetic wipe-off board to write down things I want to remember. This has eased my stress level somewhat. )

And now, anger is my friend, in a keep your enemies close kind of way.  ;)

No comments: